the dog
the dog
broke
its leash
and was
dragging
it behind
him as
he ran
up on
Nick who
used that
chain to
choke the
dog dead
and then
threw it
onto the
owner's porch
screaming threats
but Nick
is still
not ready
to go
to the
VA or
to talk
about
the war.
bad habits
thinking
about the
war as
I bite
my nails
too close
and watch
the blood
pool in
my nail
bed I
have chewed
them all
down to
open sores
that hurt
with everything
I pick up
with everything
I can't
put down.
civilian casualty
as a
younger man
my sense
of drama
might have
led me
to make
her much
more personal
give her
a name
convince
myself I
heard her
soft voice
call to
her father
but at
45 I
did the
only thing
I could
I pushed
her outside
my consciousness
outside memory
not even
one line
in my
diary
outside of
my life
in the
hospital and
my head
for the
whole time
I was in
Afghanistan
some nights
I still
hear her
ghost begging
me to
finally let
her in.
Matthew Borczon is the author of four books of poetry A Clock of Human Bones by the Yellow Chair review press, Battle Lines by Epic Rites press, Ghost Train by Weasel Press and Sleepless nights and Ghost Soldiers by Grey Boarders press. He has a chapbook coming out through Epic Rites before the end of this year as well. He is a nurse and Navy Sailor from Erie, Pa. He tries not to let PTSD rule too much of his life