Matthew Borczon and the Perils of Compassion Fatigue

timeline


In my
journal
I always
wrote the
date and
weather
I worked
day or
night shift

I wrote
a list
of injuries
I saw
and the
number of
people
who died
then  I
wrote what
I ate
for dinner
and if
I talked
to Dana
or my
kids

in one
entry
somewhere
before the
middle of
my tour
of duty
I wrote
one extra
line simply
asking myself
if I
thought I
should be
worried that
this all
feels so
normal.


Timeline2


in Kuwait
2 weeks
from home
I hear
the word
compassion
fatigue for
the first
time in
my life

after all
you have
seen you
may just
be too
tired
to care
about people
for awhile

we were
advised to
sleep a
lot and
watch movies
decompress
before we
head home
and remember
you may
not be
able to
be a
kind person
for awhile

5 years
later and
I am still
not a
kind person

not any
kind of
person.


Timeline 3


the first
night a
helicopter
flew over
my house
I was
running out
my door
before I
realized
I was
home and
the Hospital
was a
war and
a world
away.

Matthew Borczon is a nurse and Navy sailor from Erie Pa. He was deployed to the busiest combat hospital in Afghanistan in 2010-11 where he lost a part of his soul. His work has appeared in Dead Snakes, Dissident voice, busted Dharma, Big hammer, 1947 as well as many other small press publications. His chapbook a clock of human bones won the Yellow chair review 2015 chap book contest and is available at their web site.