Happy emoji stay in da deep freeze.
No moa confetti no moa champagne
no moa flying through da clouds on wun carefree airplane.
Da engine stay all broke and no can achieve anykine lift
sitting on da runway in da dark like wun dead pigeon in da park.
Doom and gloom wit wun big kaboom
dat no one else can hear
as dat insidious blues ting wit da sad mood dat it brings
takes you down inside da mind’s ear.
No moa pretty colors no moa dancing bear in wun tutu
no moa radiant neon news from wun cheerful laughing clown—
No wondah whiskey goes down so easy.
Dats why moa bettah just lay low
while everyting is all no go
cause happy emoji stay in da deep freeze
like wun big tuna all stiff on da ice.
wuzn’t wun panda in China
or wun man in da Philippines
to make wun house.
Growing in popularity
instead of growing in da jungle
he wuz certainly good
at creating wun splash
cause you can get
pretty well known
wen you make people laugh.
He wuz silly
and you knew him
wen he became famous
wit his big eyes
looking at you.
Funny hay and wild oats
wit wun occasional crazy apple
helped to feed da absurdity.
Just like Lady Gaga
and Bruno Mars
his name wuz changed too
so he could be moa cool.
Ask his friend Wilbur
cause he knows all about it.
going give you Ed in da shed.
A horse is a horse
of course, of course—
You can now start singing da program’s catchy song
anytime you like.
BITE DA HEART OF DA ANGLER
You gaddah stay alert in dis town
cause everybody is eidah trying to con you
or dey going take advantage of any misstep.
It’s twenty-four-seven and crazy eight swings
every day of da week.
So heah comes anadah round of jive scammers
each of dem casting me wun pitch
and tinking dat dey going reel me in
to flap helplessly at dere feet.
Da invisible hook is plain to see
and I going tactfully spit it into dere faces before I draw blood
cause my fins glide through da watah
and undah da surface you no can see my teeth.
Sharks no take da snagging bait—
Dey just bite da heart of da angler.
Joe Balaz writes in Hawaiian Islands Pidgin (Hawai'i Creole English) and in American-English. He edited Ho'omanoa: An Anthology of Contemporary Hawaiian Literature. Some of his recent Pidgin writing has appeared in Rattle, Juked, and Unlikely Stories Mark V, among others. Balaz is an avid supporter of Hawaiian Islands Pidgin writing in the expanding context of World Literature. He presently lives in Cleveland, Ohio.